Fall TV

Two and a Half Men doesn't interest dogs.  Change the title to two and a half cup-fulls in the bowl, interest grows high and quickly.  The revamped show is likely to be a hit, but pathetically points out the obvious - TV as a hole isn't that well done.  This is not to long for Happy Days or The Brady Bunch, as sitcoms come and go like a train in Chicago and there is little difference in those that stay (Men) and others that go (Yes Dear).

Gold fish

Number 871 in the ever-standing opposable-thumb issue for dogs.  They can't obtain gold fish for customers at Wal-Mart.  Can't hold the net.

Great balance

Dogs don't need well-marketed metal power bracelets to retain their balance. They can ignore the aggressive mall kiosk trying to lure $40 out of the pocket for .40 cents of metal and $4 of hokey gimmicks.

Tic Tac Dog

It happens on it's own accord and like the taste of Scotch can't be forced, three dogs laying either across, up and down, or diagonal in a row equals Tic Tac Dog.

Last book

The Bible is a great book for obvious reasons. Dogs benefit here in unique ways as they don't have to try and understand the concluding chapter, Revelations. If symbolism had a mascot it would dress as Revelations. The depth of imagery puts a Michael Chabon setting description to shame. Water is crystal clear but the best selling book in history ends with a head shaker, kind of like a wet dog drying off, effective yet with some cost.

Sign holders

No dog will ever stand at the intersection holding a going out of business sale sign. Sure they are limited as sign holders due to their lack of the opposable thumb, but they have avoided this occupation to date. Why stores can't go out of business without this signage is perplexing, like the mysterious lure of a Thomas-Kincaid painting. Give these guys a wave next time as you wonder, what do they do if nature calls? Probably take care of business like a dog would.

Crotch rocket

Driving down the highway at acceptable speed, the fleet Ninja bike makes the car seem like a worm crawl.  Dogs don't buy Ninja bikes to put the fear of roadway death into their parents.  There are things bought to go fast, Corvettes for example, and then there are Ninja motorcycles, designed to go too fast and ridden by those who still have the indestructible label affixed firmly.   Dogs can run away fast, but they would look silly on any bike.  They also couldn't use the brakes due to that opposable thumb issue of design.