Life as a dog featurette #7

Life as a dog requires little exertion of will to get the house ready for Christmas.  Put differently, if dogs were in charge of decorating there would be no decorating.  They can and will enjoy the holiday cheer minus the spiked eggnog - which begs the question as to why there are no other 'nogs.  No butter-nog, cheese-nog, ice-cream-nog, potato-nog, fish-nog, nut-nog, cactus-nog, nothing.

Olive ads

If they could gather money and put it in their fur and gain access to the car dogs would be influenced by the newest Olive Garden creations saying they look tasty!

Another Monday

Monday is Monday for a dog. This is not a Cyber Monday cause for celebration. As if on-line shopping were a new idea, the creation of a pseudo-holiday is about as anonymous as a Coptic Church ritual, until it gets blistered on Verizon ads. Grab your mouse, get some bargains, hunt for deer, the dog will read the Monday paper and call it a day.

Hunt not

Dogs don't hunt for deer.  They ignore rifle season altogether.  Thus they are not part of the legions of camouflage and blaze adorned woodsmen entering the forest with beer and ammo for a fortnight of  a stay in search of a buck kill.  For all of the deer readers, run fast and run toward houses, now, stay there for two weeks.  That's 14 hooves. 

Opposable thumb issue #27

No moving furnishings:  Dogs benefit in this no opposable thumb situation as they never have to move furnishings.  From the beginning of time people have been moving stuff, moving other peoples stuff and even moving stuffing - which is getting old in a fridge near everyone.

Property stay

In the typical dog day, the pups may never leave the property.  In fact unless there is a trip involved or a vet visit, the only time the dogs leave the property is for donut day, Sunday mornings.  Thanksgiving is a people equivilent to a typical dog day, no leaving the property.  Once a year its a wonderful thing of thanks.

Don't look now but its 30 days to Christmas.

Gobble gobble

Dogs don't have to baste a turkey.  Happy Thanksgiving.  What's a dogs favorite part of Thanksgiving?  The Underdog balloon in the Macy's Parade!