Dogservation

City life can be tough on dogs. Concrete jungles are not made to be paw-friendly. One sees many things on a walk in the city. The spot-on dogservation or observation featured the following true to life example of the unique treatment of the generic small dog. Since dogs of the small kind can't walk into the food store along side their owner, they must be hidden. In this case Fluffy (actual name withheld) takes it in stride. Seems this has been done before. Black purse that is really a dog kennel on the shoulders even includes a mesh screen,vented for ease of breathing on one side. Imagine shoving a large dog into a similar contraption.  It would be equal to the challenge of possessing a Halloween fetish as a Jehovah Witness.  Good luck with that.  The tiny dog is different. They go in like a sinner into a confessional, willing but edgy as it is dark and creepy in there.  It becomes a test of where the line of loyalty through faith intersects with fear.  The dog obeys, as if it has a real-choice, like a free-election in Libya.  So small dogs can become purse items just like that.  If the memory is serving, the common-purse products presented to a school-aged child included Kleenex that had absorbed the smell of fake-leather and overly sticky single-packs of butterscotch candy or peppermint swirls.  Never a dog.

Smell like a

Often done, never dissected like a sentence on a fourth-grade chalkboard, the concept of telling a dog they smell like a dog is pure and common but equal parts silly.

Bob and weave

Weave and Bob are solid names for a comic strip duo.  Logic states that Weave is zany.  Bob is the foil of Weave's antics.  Surprise pie-in-face.  Pull-my-finger noise busters.  Yank the chair pratfalls.  Bob and Weave is also a championship-level dog move.  It is an evasive, catch me if you possibly could, action.  The choreography would not get a paddle-five score on Dancing With the Stars, but Bob and Weave keeps the dog in the yard and out of the house.  It is bounding about, dashing here and there and as close as a dog gesture comes to sarcasm.  Believing one can catch a dog performing the Bob and Weave is comparable to convincing a country that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction.  In the best Oprah voice - "IM-POSSSSSIBBBBBLE!"  Oh that zany Weave where does he get this stuff?

Water only

Water.  Nice beverage, amazingly simple, available and refreshing under any circumstance.  The only drink you will ever taste?  Nope.  Dogs drink water.  Water, water everywhere and always drops to drink.  Those who drink other beverages are slipping into the picked-on club.  They would be different.  By the bowl, by the glass, as a shot, its water mixed with water at the canine lounge.

Opposable thumb issue #4

Sadly dogs have no ability to enjoy personal computing due to that right-click mouse.

It's my birthday?

Strange looks will ensue if you sing to your dog on their birthday.  This edict is especially true if your over-the-top version of Rock Lobster impedes the Happy Birthday standard from actually being sung.  Dogs take age in stride.  They don't like musical inconsistencies.  Not surprisingly they have an under-appreciation of the kind of genius Fred Schneider (now 59) brings to the B-52 table.  Another year older?  That's OK.  It gives them another day in mutual paradise.  Pass the tanning butter!

Opposable thumb issue #3

Dogs may need your help next Monday filling out their NCAA brackets.  Do not try the pen-in-mouth procedure.  A fondue-flavor inventor is still recovering from an unfortunate dog episode involving a blue Bic.  The dog's entries became less recognizable than Bob Dylan lyrics.  In actuality they picked all teams nicknamed Bulldogs and avoided all Wildcat choices.