Mercenaries R not us

It is insane. Libya hires mercenaries to kill it's opposition. This concept is human exclusive. People can unfortunately teach dogs to fight and kill. Dogs would never sign up for mercenary duty.

Carpet-paper

To offend intentionally is bad.  To offend by association and stereotype is not so bad.  The later is true when qualified.  For example, all Irish do not fight as the nicknamed domers at Notre may suggest.  The preface sets up the illustration of what is flagged as the carpet-paper experience.  The move is dogtastic and spans generations of the species and may prove evolution exists.  Who knows where they learn it, they just do.  Dog comes inside from outside and sits square on the carpet.  The hind legs spread.  The rear end is severely pressed downward. Next is motion akin to an assembly-line strict forward-rub.  The dog's rear is successfully scratched and the carpet is, in-effect, used as toilet paper.  This move has and will always be known as the "Chief Itchy Butt."  The term "Chief" is based on the stereotype of an American Indian leader squatting fireside.  Similar settings have stereotypical words like "Wampum" in the vocabulary, if scripted.  These "smoke-em' peace pipe" references were formed during the Go Go Gophers portion of Underdog shows.  It is not in reference to other Chiefs among us.  No firefighter bosses were singled out in this illustration of dog-relief after the dog's relieved.  The Kansas City Chiefs bear no part in this illustration.  Anyone named Chief by parents desiring support-group experiences for their young offspring are equally exempt.  At the end of the day Chief Itchy Butt is a label affixed to a move that no other animal is willing to attempt.  It is simple and effective and cute despite its disgusting elements. 

The anti-nap

Weekends are made for afternoon naps. For dogs the wake time usually is less than the sum of naps plus sleep time. Something we look forward to once or twice a week is the norm for the fur-lickers. Score another point in the dog column.

W.O.F. Continues

No concern from the dogs on the new-found snowfall.  Cold weather does bring a declaration of non-groundhog variety of six more weeks of flannel.  This is the official site sponsoring the Winter of Flannel or W.O.F.  Flannel shirts for each and every winter day!  Not a woof, woof, bark, bark as doggies are born with winter coats.

Opposable thumb issue #1

Push pins to a dog are equal to a career as a photographer who specializes in time-lapse work capturing the craft of Amish barn-raisings.

The answer is a question

If the question to the dog is how long will you continue to fetch the ball the answer is how long do plan to keep throwing the ball?

Anti-action items

Buzz words for dogs can be limited to sit, stay, come-in and shake.  They are forever immune from assignments of action items from a confernce call.  They are budget-free, revenue-poor and status-immune.  That's a good life. 

On gas

Dogs do not get upset when gas prices at the pumps spike. They do willingly supply free gas to all in range daily.

Chew on ice

Ice is a thrill of a treat for the dogs. Not many of us would wag and jump at the sight of cubes falling gracefully from the ice maker. Dogs sure do.

Spelling doesn't count

Dogs can't spell. Earth-shattering news to all. Dogs would devour the Friday special in a few bites and not care of the mis-spelled name. The "WHINCKEY WHALE" may be a fish sandwich for two in the country gem restaurant. It also sports a few extra letters for about 8 extra Scrabble points. Cute name. Winky!

Ability of unconcern

Dogs couldn't care less about the random car now parked in front of the house. It has no bearing. If it's your car, please park elsewhere. The wagging of tails doesn't change.

Toying With It

Don't feel bad, but take count if you are one who expended large sums at Christmas for must-have kid toys.  Are they still at the top of the rotation for play choice?  Dogs here got a plastic toy each and they are holding up and used hourly nearly two months later.  That's another win for the fur-crowd.

New Dish

One of five diners at the table eats chicken, exclsuively.  Pork is on the menu.  No chicken tonight.  Do you feel like chicken tonight?  Anyway, repurposed pork instantly becomes Symphony Chicken, via spoken word, but is actually breaded pork, not chicken, but now takes on the aura of an uppity affluent product, per the "symphony" adjective, classy.  Maybe it will catch on, all of you can spread the word:  Pork (breaded) is now Symphony Chicken.  Dogs just call it food.

Dog-Too-You

Homage above to the excellent Rolling Stones album CD Tatoo You, while it comes to mind that dogs are smarter than people when you consider that no canine has tatoo-regret minutes, days or years after going under the ink, not to mention no loss of out of pocket expense.

Dog Life vs Pledge Drive

Polar opposite reactions: the typical dog day of licks and lazy versus the necessary evil of an NPR pledge drive. Dogs believe the announcers when they say only one more pledge to meet the challenge goal because it unleashes more money.

Walk the hound

Nothing compares to the charm of watching a Basset Hound scamper around at the Westminster Show. Like watching a frog play hopscotch.

Anti-Grammy

The doggie-boys listen to public radio jazz all-night long and even they know the good dog toys from the feeble.  When watching, ignoring or staring dumbfounded at the Grammy Awards tonight keep in mind the band Red Cortez - yes you have never heard of them - but in 2009 they won the hearts of 2,500 at the Carnegie Music Hall in Pittsburgh as a slam-dunk opener for Morrisey.  Check out their Fell On the Floor song.  It is 10,000 times better musically than anything ever done by Justin Beiber or Usher or Lady Gaga and that's why the Grammy's are as pathetic as a cheap plastic dog toy.  The best get ignored, unless you are a great dog toy.

Bring em on

Seriously dogs could make better choices at CPAC than Rick Santorum or Haley Barbour. Really? There has to be another crotch worth sniffing.

King Tut

There is not one dog in America tonight celebrating the events in Egypt. Again they are right.