Our Dick

It's New Year's Eve and he is our Dick.  America's Dick, your Dick, my Dick, even Cheney's Dick.   The host of American Bandstand and assorted game shows and as associated with December 31st as Times Square, bad sunglasses and a midnight kiss and no dog can ever recite his name:  Dick Clark.  Find a man under age 50 today named Dick and the odds are very high that he is a Junior Dick or Dick III.  If there is a dog named Dick he is very bad behaved and it's an acquired nickname.  The name Dick is as obsolete and non-retro as Major Matt Mason toys from the 1960's.  The name is as faded as a Kerry-Edwards in '04 bumper sticker but gets banner treatment once a year for Rockin' Eve.  Way to be the best Dick possible.  Happy New Year.