Phone gnome

If there was a character named the phone gnome dogs wouldn't care, kids may rejoice, especially if Sir Elton sang about it.  "Hold me closer (to the phone) tiny (gnome)."  Dogs don't like the phone.  Hold it up to their ears and they looked perplexed or annoyed, like the inner-brain frustration when the line not-chosen moves much, much faster.  People generally know how to use the phone.  Just to be clear, each cell phone has the ability to transfer the voice, when spoke at a normal volume, to the other side.  Yelling or talking loud is not necessary, the tin can and string era went the way of Wham-O products and Wham!